I cannot believe I’m almost 30! Time flies when you’re having fun! Although I do not celebrate birthdays for scriptural purposes, I use each landmark as a time for self-assessment. Society would have us believe our lives are to look a particular way merely because of our age and that is simply not true. So this year I decided to add focus on important lessons I’ve learned over the years that have made me the woman I am today, 29.
- Don’t judge a situation even if you’ve been in it. Even if you have been through the situation theoretically, it does not mean your situation is the same. Simply be kind and push judgements aside.
- Blood isn’t what makes you family. I love some of my blood relatives 🙂 but I have friends that are more family than anyone related to me has ever been. Proverbs 18:24.
- Trust your instincts. My mom would always tell me this about people. If you have a feeling or hunch about anything, don’t ignore it. God has given you that instinct to make choices for a reason and you should not ignore it.
- You can be the one to break the cycle. Just because your entire family has or has not done something traditionally does not mean you have to do the same. I realized this when I got married, just because all the women in my family were divorced, does not mean I would have the same fate.
- Nap time is really for the benefit of adults, not the kids. Growing up, I hated nap time. “I’m not sleepy. Why are you making me sleep?” Now that I have kids of my own, I know now nap time is a break for the adults!
- I deserve happiness! Putting my needs and desires ahead of others for the sake of feelings is always something I have battled with. I have to remind myself constantly putting myself first in some situations does not make me selfish. While it is right to consider the needs and wants of others, what makes me happy and gives me inner is also important.
- Things are not always what they seem. We do not always know the full story and that is okay (it’s probably none of our business anyways). To make any assumptions merely based off what you can see is unfair. That’s only surface and not enough to make a fair judgement.
- Love is a verb, not just a feeling. I heard this many years ago and it stuck with me. Love is such a simple word with so much meaning; 4 letters with many levels. To keep love alive, action is required! The action is for anything – godly love, love for your spouse, family, friends etc. It’s understood and felt when its shown in action.
- For some things, there’s not an ideal time. If you think like me and keep waiting for the “right time” then let me tell you – it does not exist! This is the thought I had when I finally launched my blog after wanting to for a few years. I kept waiting for a time that did not exist. Want it? GO FOR IT NOW!
- Most kids ARE accidents. As a child, I was offended by the fact my parents did not “want” (plan for) me. Rude!! Now that I have 2 unplanned children, I get it 100%. They are 2 favorite surprises!! 🙂
- What is said is just as important as how it’s said. Expressions are always open to interpretation so the tone in which they’re are said is always so important. To be conveyed as I wish, I always try to make sure my tone is appropriate.
- Making wedding and baby registries is a waste of time. Most people when they gift do not check the items on your registry; they usually get what they want. I was that person until I relaized it took so much time and energy to make one that I started buying items off of it.
- Cost and worth are 2 very different things. This is a quote from my favorite movies of all time but as I get older, I realize it is so true. Special, sentimental items are worth to us than they cost. Things that take up our time cause us to question whether the cost is worth it.
- If you have something to say, say it! Holding my tongue as I age is something I actively choose not to do. For the sake of my own mental health and overall peace, I’ve learned to say what I need to respectfully. Speak your truth!
- Being weird is a good thing. In school kids always use the term “weird” to describe those who are different. However as you get older, being different and creative are just the opposite.
- Sometimes things are exactly as they seem.I know this totally seems like a contradiction of # 7 but it’s really not. As a person that always trys to see the positive of situations, I have come to accept the fact that not everything or everyone is what we want to see.
- WHY is the most important question to ask. If you know the reason why something has happened – actions or words that often tells you what you need to know the most. Motivations, inner feelings, goals etc.
- Taking yourself too serious is a joke! I am a perfectionist and my own worst critic. But when I look back at a situiation I’ve overthought, I always laugh at myself wandering why I stressed myself out about something.
- Stop comparing yourself to others! For the most part I’m a confident person but there are times I doubt myself and compare myself to others. I have to constantly remind myself there is only one me!
- Having inner peace doesn’t call for an external calm. The world around us is crazy and it’s only going to get worse. This doesn’t mean we have to allow it to control our inner peace.
- Good things take time. My inner perfectionist wishes things were perfect instantly but that’s rarely the case. The things in life we really cherish aren’t always immediate so trusting the process is part of it.
- Value isn’t based on how others see you. It is human nature to wander what others think of us. Whatever someone else’s opinion is, it doesn’t not change who I am.
- Everyday is a new day. Worrying about things doesn’t change the outcome and each day has it’s own anxieties.
- Self-care is essential. I literally didn’t understand how important this was until I became a mother. Before children, every day was sort of a self care day. Now I have to refresh, renew and reset every now and then to keep sane.
- Money doesn’t grow on trees. In a way I am still learning this one!! 🙂 Saying I love to shop is in understatement for sure but learning to manage money is key. I’ve had to teach myself, once it’s gone, it’s gone to spend wisely not once I’ve blown through my cash to use my credit card. I’m on my last stretch of paying off my credit card debt.
- Take nothing for granted. Sadly I fully learned this in 2020 during quarantine. Our lives went from “normal” to us being home around the clock with anxiety about our health and missing friends. This showed me how quickly things can change so to cherish what’s really important – time with family, friends and our health and well-being; not money.
- It’s okay to ask for help. As an adult, I’ve tricked myself into thinking I should have it all figured out by now as far as life but the truth is really no one does. (One day I’ll admit this to my kids!) We fake it till we make it and then when faking it doesn’t work, we have to ask for help. Don’t be ashamed that’s it’s a sign of weakness; it’s strength!
- Don’t be afraid to try new things! This I learned with some assistance from my husband. He loves to have new experiences whether it’s food or travel. Myself on the other hand could eat the same thing every night and be perfectly content. He has opened my eyes to try some great things I’d be too scared to do on my own. Stop asking yourself “What if I don’t like it?” and ask “What if I do like it?”
- Quality > Quantity. This is my main goal for 2021. I am a wife, mother and I work full-time outside the home but still only one person. When I am home I only have so much time to take care of all these responsibilities. That means I have to allot my time appropriately and make the best of the time I do have with everyone. Right now because of the circumstances I cannot spend as much time as I want to do I make the most of the time I do have.
